I’ve never been the type of human to actually want to… well… exist. Haha. My whole life feels as if it’s been spent in a constant state of WTF??? I do not understand the system that is in place on this planet. Well, I do understand it… but I don’t like it. Too much manipulation, deceit, and trickery. And not the fun kind of trickery. Well, unless you’re the one reaping all the benefits from the trickery. Then, I guess it’s fun for you. But not for the rest of us! Well, maybe some of us who don’t think about things too deeply and who are content with living, going to work, sleeping, gathering shiny material stuff, enjoying vacations, and having families until we die. Ok, it’s not fun for ME! 🙂 I can only really speak for myself.
I’ve always been different from everyone around me. Family, friends, school kids, church people… always found it difficult to fully connect with them on a deeper level. I got along with them okay, I guess, but I always sensed that if they were to see the true me, then they would run away screaming for their mommy’s… “OH MY GOD, what a FREAK!!!”
I learned very early that my deep thoughts hurt most human’s heads, lol. Most humans do not want to discuss the nature of reality and how easy it would be to manipulate it if one had certain abilities and knowledge that was hidden from the masses. I mean, I think that’s a very basic question that everyone should be asking. Kinda like a ‘duh’ type question. Well, they aren’t. Which I find highly entertaining in a way, but it does get kind of lonely. Where’s my tribe? *pouty lip* Why am I so different from everyone else? I’ve yet to deduce this mystery.
I’ve come to accept that timing is a bitch, and that the people who ARE a part of my tribe, may not ever get to be a big part of my life, because of everyone being on their own journeys and whatnot. It still sucks, though, lol, but what do ya do? Well, besides create a spell and fill a parcel full of energetically charged elements that is supposed to attract what you want in life. Yep, did it. Hasn’t worked yet. I’ve also prayed… made an active effort to look for people myself, out in the real world… wished on shooting stars… even gave up some really good coins to the fountain gods, all in an effort to ‘make my dreams come true’. Yep, nothing. Talk about feeling powerless.
They’re always like, you have responsibility and control over your life. Surround yourself with a support group of like-minded humans. Ask and ye shall receive, seek and ye shall find, and shit. Lol… I must be doing something terribly wrong. Or the universe just doesn’t want me to have friends. Or both. Or neither. I dunno… to what extent of my life is in my control, and to what extent is it left up to the cycle of probabilities and seemingly chaotic order that may or may not exist in this three dimensional game? *shrug*
Lol, quit whining… at least I only have a few more years of this hellish dimension. Maybe less, if I’m lucky! I should be lucky… both my sun and moon signs are connected to Jupiter. Yep, at least I don’t live 400 years or more! Well, my spirit does, but not this meat suit!!! This dream will be over soon. Maybe I’ll learn a lesson or two, help a few people, and figure out something important during my time here. If not… whatever. 🙂