Ya know what is so wonderful about writing anonymously? It means I can write anything I want, and if anyone that I know in real life were to read and disagree… they can’t be mad at me, lol.
I’ve learned in my short or long life, that humans get offended very easily about stuff. No matter how nonjudgemental they may claim to be. And I, being the type of human with an endless thirst for knowledge, see offense as a hindrance to learning… therefore, I’ve collected a shit ton of data from all walks of life which inevitably will offend someone at some point or other.
And honestly, I could care less if I offend non-friend/family member types. But I do care if some of my loves were to read my stuff and be like WTF is wrong with this boy or girl? I’d like to keep the few peeps who still like me around for as long as I can. 🙂
Yes, there is a lot about myself that I can’t share with my loved ones. Sad but true. As much as I’d like to share my true thoughts and ideas with my friends and family, I’ve observed that most wouldn’t have the capability to see where I’m coming from, nor the interest or attention span to stick around and listen to me. Too many times in my life, my connections have expressed their concern for me because of the things that I liked to talk about. “I’ll pray for you,” being a repeated phrase throughout my life, lol.
Sure, I’d like to be honest and open with them… and for the most part I am. But it takes an extremely open mind to accept the whole person that is me, and I’ve met very few in this life who were up to that task. I can’t emphasize enough how much most people are NOT like me.
Loneliness and depression have been my bestest friends throughout the years because of my out-there views. Learning to accept the world for how it is (good parts and bad) has been a hard, yet important part of my learning to cope. As well as, pushing down that voice inside of me that longs for others to understand me. I just don’t care if I’m understood anymore, which is very liberating… because I can have surface friends and be okay with it, instead of wallowing in self-pity because no one ‘gets’ me. Who cares if not one gets me… I get me. 😀
Hmm, maybe one day, I will find me a group of like-minded kindred spirit types, and we can all live in a commune together and love each other for who our true core selves are, without worrying about being shunned or having to wear a mask. 🙂 Hey a person can dream.
But for now, to avoid being more isolated than I already am, I will remain anonymous and not direct my real-life connections to this blog. 🙂
“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.” …Except, that I feel like I am the only one most of the time, lol. But, yay for anonymous internet blogs to hide behind and express myself! You understand me, don’t you, binary code? Yeah, I knew you did. *giggle*
And before you start judging me, remember, I am definitely not the only one who hides in this world…
Welcome to Earth… one big masquerade.
Note to Self: Humans get intimidated and scared when you show that you have the ability to see through their façade. Don’t let them know that you can see who they truly are, if you want to have people like you. Be discerning. Play their games. Have fun with it. No use in destroying what someone has taken so long to build. Unless they’re an asshole, then let the fun begin, hehe.