The Flat Matrix Farm and Myself

Lol! What a huge ass deception… what a lie… damn.

Studying the evidence for an Earth shaped like a plane… which is beyond compelling, and is actually quite convincing. And not surprising, in the least. Flat planet, with a dome overhead. Aight… I’ll bite. 🙂

Reason I’m writing: No one is quilting it all together to show the BIGGER PICTURE. You know, the one where ALL IS SELF. I forget, all the time, too. But it’s the highest truth I’ve found. Still looking to an outside creator… still thinking we’re separate from the Master Architect. Using this old-found revelation to prove that YES! There IS a God! Na na na na naaah… told ya! Lol. What an onion, we’ve gotten ourselves into.

So, flat earth… Sun/Saturn worship… Matrix… you can stay, but you can never leave. The oroboros… snake eating itself. Time… Cronos… reincarnation… trapped. Energy suckers keeping their hijacked system alive. Or, trying to, at least. Desperately. Because they’ve gone and cut themselves off from Themselves… way to go, guys! As I sit here cutting myself off from everyone around me, ha.

You say I’m insane? A nut-case? Bat-shit crazy for my views? Well… thank you! ^_^ I accept that as an honor. It’s a pleasure to be gas-lighted by the sleepwalkers and sheepwalkers and androids, oh my!

Chemtrails, black goo, technology pills, venomous needles… BE AFRAAAAID!!!

But, by no means, should you use this life to learn the parameters of the matrix and how to escape it, grow in wisdom, help others, and try to better yourself. Nope… that’s all a fruitless pursuit, and you’re stupid for even entertaining such a notion. Working and gaining materials and worrying about how other people perceive you is what’s important. CONSUME so that YOU can be CONSUMED! Tis the Ciiiiiircle of Liiiiiiife…. and it moooves us alllllll. Thanks, Disney!

And the kicker is… that it’s still, ALL US!

Though, I still don’t understand why my piece of consciousness is currently inhabiting this simulation. But it’s definitely not a boring ride. Well, some days it’s not, lol. Other days, are excruciating and I just want off. It’s fascinating trip, though.

Saturn Symbolism

 

The Lonely Road

Truth… and the seeking of such…

has led me down an interesting path. Definitely the road less traveled.

Drama… all the drama, lol. How they love their extremes. Gotta keep that energy rotating… so they can slurp it up. Nom nom, dream world.

Isolation… alone in my head. The smoke and mirrors can take on so many distracting forms, so that it’s nearly impossible for the ‘normal’ human to become aware of what’s really going on. The humans also have a thing inside them that rejects change… and since truth equals change, the truth is a threat to their comfortableness… which makes me a threat to their comfortableness… which is why I’m alone, lol.

Language… such a barrier. I already have a difficult enough problem when it comes to transforming my vast, all encompassing, abstract thoughts into linear words. Control the mind prison by hiding the keys. Great. Have to rely on keeping my energy high… maybe others will unconsciously react to that. Because I sure don’t make much sense when trying to help others verbally. Though, I’d dearly love to help heal them. All I’ve ever wanted was to help others in life.

Awareness… being aware of all the shit going on inside my head. And remaining aware. Blindly going about life in robot mode is so much easier. If I’m to be of any help to myself or others, I must be able to be, at least, in somewhat control of my thoughts and energies. Or, if not in control, then being able to transform them into different, more useful thoughts and energies is a huge thing. Alchemy and all that.

Humor…  it’s what has kept me from self-destructing, so far. Laughter is definitely a powerful tool. Especially, when I look at my life and how truly alone I am. Sure, I know there are others out there like me. But they do not manifest in my immediate reality. Truth is, I just don’t fit in with anyone in my circle. Something I have to accept… and try to not let lower my vibes. Because that’s when the nasties like to grab hold of me. Nope… gonna laugh it off and keep going. 🙂

The desire to help, heal, and teach burns bright within me… yet, I currently observe that I lack the skills to effectively do these things. Something I gotta work on. Sigh. Life is too much work, lol. But what else do I have to do, while I’m here?

 

Interview with a Near Death Experiencer Who Met A Demiurge

Those with open, curious minds will see this as another interesting piece of the puzzle to keep stored away in the back of their minds for later reference. Everyone else will see this as either fantasy, silliness, or having no significance to their lives whatsoever. I post this, just in case there is someone who finds this as fascinating as I do.

As a Reality Investigator and Truth Seeker, I have spent a lifetime collecting data from as many different sources as possible. I do not use black and white reasoning to determine whether the data is right or wrong. I keep all the information that I’ve ever read, heard, experienced in a brain file, which I regularly open and sift through to find patterns and pieces to connect. I do not let beliefs interfere with a possible connection. Preconceived beliefs are walls that keep the brain from expanding its perspective. I actually don’t even ‘believe’ anything, nor do I disbelieve anything. I have an internal scale that I use to categorize whether information is less or more plausible to be the truth, and if I come across new information that challenges what I previously thought was true-est, I will change my views to accommodate the new discovery. I do so enjoy having my views of reality shattered and rebuilt, unlike most people I’ve ever met, who prefer to feel like they have it all figured out.

This interview with a guy who died in car crash and experienced meeting the Demiurge of Earth, is something completely unique to my research… yet it connects so many things that I’ve investigated in the past. I love that I’m getting a bigger picture to all of my questions that I’ve had my whole life. Like: Why am I here? Why are humans here? Where did we come from? Why all the pain? What is the purpose of all this craziness? Why does there seem to be a self-destructive/other-destructive trait in humans? Why do some humans look completely different than others? Who designed it like this? Why can’t I remember? What are spirits? Why can I, and others, leave our bodies and fly? What is personality? Why don’t more people ask these questions? Why can’t we all get along? Why do animals prey on other animals? And a billion other questions and observations!!! So exciting to see things coming together to form a whole!

I don’t expect anyone to know what I’m talking about. I know I’m different, and I know that the stuff that I research completely goes against all religions and most secular worldviews. But so is the solitary life of a woman who cannot stop until she discovers what is really going on here.

Interview with a Near Death Experiencer Who Met A Demiurge:

http://www.trickedbythelight.com/tbtl/nde-transcript.html

“Well, first of all, thanks for inviting me to talk about this topic. To me it’s the LEAST well-received part of my near death experience. My near death experience is VERY extensive. I remember it as if it just now happened. Now to say meeting what you defined as the Demiurge… you know, I don’t know if I would define that being as evil, first of all. Now that’s kind of a subjective term and I want to be very clear that the words that we use are not always going to be exactly the same as the way somebody else said it It’s not gong to be the way that I perceived it.”

To Laugh or to Cry?

I’ve never been the type of human to actually want to… well… exist. Haha. My whole life feels as if it’s been spent in a constant state of WTF??? I do not understand the system that is in place on this planet. Well, I do understand it… but I don’t like it. Too much manipulation, deceit, and trickery. And not the fun kind of trickery. Well, unless you’re the one reaping all the benefits from the trickery. Then, I guess it’s fun for you. But not for the rest of us! Well, maybe some of us who don’t think about things too deeply and who are content with living, going to work, sleeping, gathering shiny material stuff, enjoying vacations, and having families until we die. Ok, it’s not fun for ME! 🙂 I can only really speak for myself.

I’ve always been different from everyone around me. Family, friends, school kids, church people… always found it difficult to fully connect with them on a deeper level. I got along with them okay, I guess, but I always sensed that if they were to see the true me, then they would run away screaming for their mommy’s… “OH MY GOD, what a FREAK!!!”

I learned very early that my deep thoughts hurt most human’s heads, lol. Most humans do not want to discuss the nature of reality and how easy it would be to manipulate it if one had certain abilities and knowledge that was hidden from the masses. I mean, I think that’s a very basic question that everyone should be asking. Kinda like a ‘duh’ type question. Well, they aren’t. Which I find highly entertaining in a way, but it does get kind of lonely. Where’s my tribe? *pouty lip* Why am I so different from everyone else? I’ve yet to deduce this mystery.

I’ve come to accept that timing is a bitch, and that the people who ARE a part of my tribe, may not ever get to be a big part of my life, because of everyone being on their own journeys and whatnot. It still sucks, though, lol, but what do ya do? Well, besides create a spell and fill a parcel full of energetically charged elements that is supposed to attract what you want in life. Yep, did it. Hasn’t worked yet. I’ve also prayed… made an active effort to look for people myself, out in the real world… wished on shooting stars… even gave up some really good coins to the fountain gods, all in an effort to ‘make my dreams come true’. Yep, nothing. Talk about feeling powerless.

They’re always like, you have responsibility and control over your life. Surround yourself with a support group of like-minded humans. Ask and ye shall receive, seek and ye shall find, and shit. Lol… I must be doing something terribly wrong. Or the universe just doesn’t want me to have friends. Or both. Or neither. I dunno… to what extent of my life is in my control, and to what extent is it left up to the cycle of probabilities and seemingly chaotic order that may or may not exist in this three dimensional game? *shrug*

Lol, quit whining… at least I only have a few more years of this hellish dimension. Maybe less, if I’m lucky! I should be lucky… both my sun and moon signs are connected to Jupiter. Yep, at least I don’t live 400 years or more! Well, my spirit does, but not this meat suit!!! This dream will be over soon. Maybe I’ll learn a lesson or two, help a few people, and figure out something important during my time here. If not… whatever. 🙂

Existential Musings

( http://www.bitrebels.com/design/extreme-photography-that-borders-on-the-insane/ )

Living within layers. Layers upon layers. Multiple dimensions all simultaneously coexisting in one moment of recordable time, which wouldn’t even exist without the capacity to recall experiences with one’s own memory. Possibilities, probabilities, infinite decisions and paths. Making decisions based on the awareness of the past, present, and possible futures. Trying to make sense of it all. All the while, begging the Universe/God to provide enough colorful paper for me to pay my rent and bills for the month. Isn’t life lovely?

With the vast amount of energy that I’ve put into researching, and all the data I’ve collected from personal experiences with the nature of reality, you’d think I’d be able to create a fairly stable and secure life for myself, within the boundaries of the matrix game. And yet… that is definitely not the case, at the moment. For many reasons, I can’t seem to focus my intentions enough to create something lasting or substantial for myself. Which is kind of very frustrating, I must say.

What’s the point of having all of this knowledge and understanding about the hidden things of the universe under my belt, if I have to continuously rely on other kind souls to help me survive for another month? Independence runs deep in my veins, yet I constantly sabotage my own desire for that. I have a job (and am working on getting another), but I still feel as though I’m barely managing to keep it together. I’m aware that my mental state has a lot to do with this. And I am finding it near impossible to rise above my own personality weaknesses.

Sometimes I feel as if there’s a bigger purpose to my life. Like there is something ‘outside of me’ leading me in a specific direction. But is that true? What are feelings, anyway? Do they hold any weight, so to speak? Is it just wishful thinking on my part, because this world seems so meaningless and boring to me, and my mind has to come up with a way to justify my continued existence on this timeline?

I sometimes ask for guidance, help, and direction whenever I feel stuck and I don’t know what else to do. And synchronicities occasionally appear (as if in direct connection with my prayers) like they are trying to lead me along the right path, or letting me know to keep going. But I can’t help but wonder if there really is something out there helping me (god, angels, spirit guides, altruistic consciousnesses who like helping humans, my ‘higher self’) or if it’s really just my own mind power creating these strange synchronistic occurrences. And am I really being offered assistance or am I just giving my life its own meaning, and nothing really matters in the bigger picture? Which is really depressing when I think about it for too long, lol. Because something inside me longs for purpose. Why??? If that longing would go away, then I wouldn’t suffer as I do. Fucking needy soul. If I don’t have a purpose for being here, then why does that feeling even exist? So weird.

And why can’t I seem to create positive change for myself and others on a larger scale, like I desire to? Helplessness is a constant feeling for me. Or is it? Being an Empath, it makes me wonder if it’s me who is feeling helpless, or if I’m just picking up on the general helpless emotions that the humans around me are projecting. Which doesn’t really matter, because I feel them as my own anyway. It’s so ridiculous, lol. Why do I have to be so aware of myself and everyone around me?

So what is it all about? I just want to win the lotto and not have to worry about the damn monetary system. Then, I could help my loved ones out, which would make me feel amazing, and this life would be infinitely more exciting and fun to me. If anyone outside of this dimension is listening, make this happen, please. 🙂 Thanks.

( http://www.sciencefictionideas.com/the-idea-of-multiple-dimensions-and-realities/ )

Individual Differences: Coexisting Without Destroying Each Other

 

In my short experience on this planet, I have discovered that all humans seem to have two things in common.

1. We all want what we want.

2. We all don’t want what we don’t want.

Now, humans are complex creatures and what one individual wants and doesn’t want can vary infinitely from what another individual wants and doesn’t want.

We are all motivated by something… or many things. Which also varies from one person to the next. Not everyone is motivated by the same things.

Wouldn’t it be cool if we could acknowledge that we’re all different, yet despite our differences, we were still able to coexist peacefully while pursuing our own desires and letting others pursue their desires? Understanding that we don’t necessarily have to share the same likes and dislikes with others to get along with them.

The trouble seems to come when individual humans decide that everyone should have the same point of view as they do, and those who don’t share the same views are wrong and need to change.

Frankly, this is an insane way to coexist on a planet of infinite personalities and individual experiences. How can one person expect seven billion people to agree with their perspective, and then, when they don’t agree, get angry and throw a tantrum?

Everyone is different. It’s not a good thing or a bad thing. It’s just a fact. Why are people so quick to adopt an ‘us versus them’ mentality? So, instead of seeking compromises and wise solutions on how to live peacefully with others (like mature, rational beings) it seems that we’d rather raise our swords, voices, banners, facebook statuses, ect… and go to war. And in the name of ‘peace’, no less. Lol, it’s all insane!

And funny thing is… it’s all orchestrated and designed. Research: “How to control large populations of people”, and you will get an idea of why the world is as backwards as it is. The human mind is easily controlled and influenced if one does not make an effort to question themselves on a regular basis and become aware of why they do what they do and why they feel the way they feel. Fun stuff, being controlled… and without ever realizing it.

Ahh, tis a lovely gift to be able to see the Big Picture. Doesn’t make my life much easier, though. Actually, it may make it more difficult, lol. But whatever, I didn’t choose it… I just deal with it. And share it when I feel like it. 🙂

Please Wait While I Upgrade Myself

I am not the same person I was when I posted last. Isn’t that curious? Sure, I look the same on the outside… but these past few months of intense experiences have created a whole new inside for me. Serious! I just find that so strange. 🙂 And other people find it strange about me, also. I know it… I feel it… I understand the uncomfortableness that comes from having a person constantly changing their perspective on life. Thankfully, I’ve finally come to accept that aspect of my simulated self, and I no longer feel the overwhelming need to have others validate my weird existence. Getting older is FUN!!!!

https://500px.com/photo/27869331/christmas-rose-by-ryusuke-komori

So what if I’m alone in my head? So what if no one seems to understand me? I’m enjoying my life and am completely grateful for it all! The past me’s would have never believed that I could accomplish such a thing. But here I am… and the Universe is weird and wonderful… and I am having a blast! 😀 I’ll always be in a constant state of evolving my being. Always trying to improve myself with each new experience that comes along. That’s just my nature. Just who I be. Actually, all humans are evolving (or devolving) to a certain degree, but some do this veeerry slowly, while others can’t hardly keep up with the changes that are occurring in their psyches… which always leads to changes in their outer/physical world. Such is reality.

Balance and Option C

I have always been a paradox of sorts,

Ever since I’ve known me.

As soon as I start down one path,

The opposite is shown me. 

BALANCE

Integrating the dark with the light

Accessing the day and the night

Using the wrong to create the right

Fusing the blind with the sight

This is my true delight!

Science and Spirit… Physical and Non physical.

The distance between these has always fascinated me.

There had to be something in the space between,

which tied them together.

Always been a super logical person.

Always been a super spiritual person.

Fascinated with physics and how this world is pieced together.

Fascinated with metaphysics and the unseen forces surrounding us.

Religion couldn’t satisfy my logical questions.

Science couldn’t satisfy my spiritual questions.

Again, I’m left with option C.

This is me.

Option C.

Balance.

In Between.

And if you really want to get down to the heart of it.

Everything is Me!

And I am Nothing.

I am MULTIDIMENSIONAL,

I see the WHOLE picture of things…

Many different perspectives

In this spinning wheel of dreams.

There’s a complex spectrum of variables

Which reality weaves and paints;

And while it looks as if each path is separate,

(the Sinner opposite the Saint)

I see a Larger picture of Truth,

A web of lights and strings

Which connects us all below, here,

In this virtual holographic thing.

~*~*~{Fly AWAY, I AM free}~*~*~